Current mood:frustrated Paul is in the hospital and we don't know if he will make it or not. He was feeling pretty good after his last chemo and then his lungs started filling with fluid. Pat was going to come by later so instead of calling 911 they waited for Pat to get there, over an hour later. Pat tried to help Paul to the car but he was so weak he couldn't walk. They got the wagon and pulled him up the sidewalk and then Pat carried him up the stairs. I wish they hadn't waited so long!! Mark was in Portland for work and was going up to Seattle later in the week to see his parents. He cancelled his part of the meetings and drove up to Seattle last night. When he called me he said they didn't know if he would survive the night, he wasn't expected to live more than 24-48 hours. Later that changed to something like the next 24 hours will tell. I had the phone on speaker when Mark called and it didn't occur to me that Alysa could hear the entire conversation. We were in the car and I looked over to her and of course she was crying. I felt so bad! Mark was to call me back when he learned more. I finally gave up and called him again. I was getting very concerned about Krissy and wanted to know if he had called her. He suggested we wait until he got to Seattle and had a chance to talk to Betty and knew more. I was apprehensive but I didn't know why. So I agreed. Alyssa and I were back in the car again and my phone rang- Krissy calling. I remembered now why I was apprehensive - I knew in my gut that she would find out on Facebook before I got a chance to tell her. The first worIds out of her mouth were, "is something wrong with g'ma or g'pa?" I asked her why she was asking and she said that Cathy's status on Facebook was, "Cathy is praying for her family and looking for a flight to Seattle." ARGGGG!!!! Krissy of course fell apart. She screamed at me, "WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME???" I tried to explain that I just found out and that we wanted to wait until we had more information when Dad got to Seattle. She calmed down some but was crying very hard, just as I expected her too. When we hung up I called Mark right away and told him what happened. He called Krissy back and got her calmed down some more. I felt so bad for her. Why do I have to be so far away when I need so badly to hold her???? I also told Mark I would try to call Craig. He hasn't answered or responded to any of Mark's calls so I was hoping he might answer if he didn't recognize my number. He didn't answer but I left a message, trying to phrase it in such a way as to say that Mark isn't involved in whatever Craig's issues are, as well as letting him know that Paul is very sick. I left Mark's number and hung up. Mark called me back within 10 minutes and said Craig had called him. He didn't know if Craig would go see Paul or not but at least he knows what's going on. Mark called me again right away and said that Craig had asked him to clear the way and that he was on his way to see Paul. So Mark had called and asked that Katie not be there when Craig got there. It all seems to silly but the important thing was that Paul got to see and talk with Craig. I guess Betty tried to give him a squeeze and he bristled up and said "NO!" I am sure that was very hurtful to Betty. Mark took her out of the room and sat with her while Craig was in with Paul. Mark has called this morning and I think Paul is about the same as last night. Some of these details I didn't get until this morning. It's all so confusing right now, what do we do? Do Lyss & Kriss need to go out right away? Are they going to have a last chance to see their G'pa? Mark suggested that Alyssa come out to help G'ma, be her driver and take care of things around the house. We are looking into that now. I don't know how G'ma will respond because Alyssa didn't really live up to her responsibilities when she was there after Senior year. Alyssa has matured a lot over the last year and a half, but she herself has some concerns about falling back into the old pattern. It would be a great opportunity for Alyssa to make her transistion back out to Seattle. I have sort of gotten used to the idea that she may actually stay here. Selfishly, this makes me very sad. I guess that is all I have to write about for now. Why is this all so very hard???