Monday, January 21, 2008

Head spinning

Current mood:drained
No, I don't need an exorcist... I am just going buggy trying to keep everything straight... too many house plans, too many builders, too many real estate agents, too many muddy lots to trudge through....  Am I going insane or am I already insane for even thinking of going down this road??? 

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Bunny’s new life

Originally Published on MySpace on Jan 6, 2008

Current mood:happy
A bit before the holiday season I found a new home for my bunny. He didn't get the attention he needed or deserved living with me and in his best interest I relocated him.
My third daughter, Jenny, took him to live with her menagerie.  He moved in with three other bunnies and an assortment of other living creatures. As you may imagine, things weren't all peaches and cream at first but he wasn't banished from the island. Two of the bunnies showed mild interest in him and the third was rather snooty. She would sit in front of his bunny house with him inside and not let him out. She would also steal his lettuce. Although it wasn't a big "Welcome to our Home" from the other bunnies, I still was happy that he has a bigger home and other bunnies around him.
Jenny mentioned to me the other day that all the bunnies are licking each other ears.... even the newest member and the snooty one. This is very good news, as according to Jenny, this is how bunnies show each other affection. I am so happy that my bunny now is part of the gang.
On another note... why is it that someone who can wish a good year on those that deserve it, and that those that don't will "get theirs" doesn't realize that that statement alone puts them in the "don't deserve it" category. Why must there be so much hate and so little tolerance and wishes for goodness for all? And who exactly gets to be the decider about who deserves it and who does not?  Just wondering.....

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Life’s a bitch and then you die

Current mood:depressed
I need to vent, I need to vent, I need to vent. ARGH!!
Why is taking care of my mom so dang hard?  I don't really even take care of her - Harriett does most of the real work.
I got home yesterday and learned that she couldn't put any weight on her right leg. I didn't take her to the ER last night because I knew that was beyond my endurance, but I did take her this morning. Or rather had an ambulance come take her. They xrayed her knee and determined that she had a sprain. It wouldn't be such a big deal if she wasn't so weak every other way. Because she can't stand on one leg she won't help and try to stand on the other one, either.
I called work and told them I couldn't come in for a week because it will take at least two of us to care for her. Then Mark and Harriett told me she should go back to Draper rehab until she can help with her care again. I have been a basket case all day.
We try to stand her up and she won't shift her weight over her feet. Imagine someone trying to sit down when you are trying to hold them up, get them turned around or pull up their pants. It's too much for me and harriett together even. I don't know what to do other than rehab.
The worse thing is I keep thinking to myself, when will she die? How does she keep going? Or worse, wishing she would die so my life would be easier. I hate these thoughts. How do I make them go away?