25 Years of Wedded Bliss

Tuesday was my 25th Wedding Anniversary. Woot Woot!! I can't say it's always been easy. But then again, neither would he. But I can't think of any other journey I would rather have taken over those 25 years. Where I am is just where I am supposed to be.






Since I am a crafter I made him a card. The outside of the card is the easy part. I hate trying to think of what to write inside of cards. I worry that it will be nothing more than just stupid. I want to write something that has some meaning, ya know?

This is what I came up with. I was pretty happy with it. Then, I realized I left out one very important word! "GREEN" That handful of M&M's was green!! That was really critical to the story of our love, in my eyes!!

The most important result of our marriage is our family, the two other people who make my heart whole, my daughters. They surprised us with this:


They make my heart want to burst!!

What is the biggest thing about being married 25 years? It's not that we've been married that long, but it's the fact that we are old enough to have been married that long!! How the heck did that happen??

Reviewing the Golden Globe Awards

If you are a fan of award shows and happened to catch the Golden Globes last night then I have some very fine banter to offer up. It was an amazing show with amazingly beautiful celebs showing off their amazing bodies and amazing clothes. It was all so very very amazing. And here is what I have to say about these fabulous awards...

George Clooney was simply the most beautiful person there, male or female. Enough said.

Saggy Breasts *Caution-Not for the Queasy*

I don't understand. When I was young I was advised and encouraged to always wear a bra. The terrors of saggy, flabby, ugly breasts in my old age was flaunted before me as the horrific consequences of not doing so. Only a bra would fight and conquer the damages of gravity if I would only wear it faithfully. I was a cup size A+.

I actually had a hard time finding bras to fit me because I was so small. They finally came out with the Barely B which was close.

I grew up in the 60's and 70's. We were the generation that burned our bras. We believed in total freedom and that include our ta-tas. Let them be free!! We would no longer bind them and crush them to our chests. We were "WOMAN" hear us roar!

But not me, I was the good girl. I followed the advice of my elders and feared, as they warned me, the looming dangers of future ugly, baggy, saggy breasts. I bound up those ta-tas absolutely sure I would be perky and bright even in my old age.

I should have looked around me as I was listening to that sage advice of my elders. I should have observed what was right in front of me even then... saggy, droopy breasts. They themselves were sporting the only possible results of age and gravity... breast droppage. I should have paid attention.

I want to know why, all these years later, do I suffer from that same affliction when I was so cautious and followed strict instructions to avoid it? My little A's have grown as I bore children and gained weight. But I continued to bind them and protect them from their "downfall." I now know that their future is/was unavoidable. I suppose it's a bit like all the things mothers don't tell others about being a parent. You just have to live it and experience it yourself. In the meantime, there are myths and rumors we tell the young and uninitiated.

Life is a fairy tale. Right from the Brothers Grimm!

Leno or Conan?

Been watching all the controversy about the late night show now that Leno has bombed in prime time. Who thought that one up anyway? In my opinion there was no question from the git-go that Leno's show would not be a five day a week hit in prime time. He might be able to pull it off once a week, but only the soap operas, daytime TV and news-type shows get away with every day broadcasting. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

So why did they do it? Money. Simple as that. It was cheaper to pay Leno his gazillion dollar salary than to create, write, cast, film and produce shows like CSI, Castle, Ghost Whisperer, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy... whatever the choice. Okay, I can see that it would be more cost effective, but without an audience that becomes a moot point.

So now is it right to oust Conan from his new spot just because all the powers that be screwed up? I think it really sucks. I may be partial because I have always liked Conan better than Jay. I understand that Conan isn't getting the ratings that Jay was, but lets think about this. A strong line up is always important for TV. The best shows earlier in the evening tend to create better ratings for the following shows. Once the TV is on, it often just stays on the same channel. So, with Jay's show bombing that means folks are changing the channel. At the end of the evening that is bad news for O'Brien because they aren't necessarily changing it back. Not all his fault. Blame it on Jay.

As for ousting him... isn't that like giving someone (Jay) a promotion, finding out they can't handle the new job, and then putting them back in their old job even though it's been filled (Conan)? Usually, the best that happens is that they are re-assigned to a like & kind of position until something opens up for them.

So who do you want to see in that spot? Is it right to give O'Brien the boot? Do you even stay up that late? Do you even care?

In case you are wondering... I am bored and just wanted to blog. =) That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Calling for Angels

What a week it has been. In less than seven days I have received news of three deaths. I want to take a moment to hold each of these families up to God as they mourn the lost presence of their loved ones.

Rose in Utah. She is in Alaska with her siblings after hearing of her mother's death. It was unexpected and quick. Rose had talked to her mother recently and she appeared to be feeling very well. Rose, you and your family are in my heart & prayers. Have a safe journey through this time.

Henrietta, my cul de sac neighbor lost her husband Tuesday evening. They had a long life together and she has been caring for him for a couple of years since his stroke. He was completely disabled and needed 24 hour care. What a difficult time it's been for Henrietta but the love she feels for Wally is so evident. Henrietta, you and your family are in my heart & prayers.

Markey, originally a MySpace friend before we both migrated to Facebook, lost his mother this week. I don't know any details, but Markey is the most caring and giving person I have ever encountered and I know he is suffering from this loss. Markey, you and your family are in my heart and prayers.

For some reason, God needed these three souls in heaven. I know they are all happy and healthy in their new stages of "life." I mourn with their loved ones the loss of their presence in this world. May you all find peace in God's love.

Snorkeling in the Dark

I have sleep apnea. If you don't know, that is a condition in which you stop breathing while you are asleep. It's most prevalent in overweight people but I have friends who are very fit and also suffer from it. Why so many heavy people? Simply put, the fat we carry is throughout our bodies, including the air passages. When we relax, as when we are asleep, that fat blocks the airways and causes us to stop breathing. We don't die because we wake up, not all the way, but just enough to start breathing again. A common indicator of sleep apnea is snoring.

Why is this a problem? Because it's very difficult to get to deep REM sleep when you are waking up, even just a little bit, every night, all night long. Here are the problems associated with sleep deprivation:

"Untreated, sleep apnea can cause high blood pressure and other cardiovascular disease, memory problems, weight gain, impotency, and headaches. Moreover, untreated sleep apnea may be responsible for job impairment and motor vehicle crashes."

Well, that pretty much describes me! Before I did a sleep study to diagnose my sleep apnea I felt tired all the time. No matter how much sleep I thought I was getting at night, I would still fall asleep at my desk at work. That's not good!! It was easy to overlook many of the other symptoms as just being part of who I am.

There is more than one way to treat sleep apnea but probably the most successful one is with a cpap (pronounced SEE-Pap) machine. This machine forces air into your nose/throat/lungs at a preset force which creates enough pressure to keep the passage way open, thus allowing full REM sleep to occur. The down side of this is the big old ugly equipment. It puts a real damper on looking sexy in bed!

It's also important to find comfortable equipment. I hate mine and so don't use it as often as I should, which would be every night. But when I do.... lets just say life is much better!! It's really time for me to retake the sleep evaluation and look at new, improved equipment.

When I go to bed I plug in my little cpap machine and take the mask and place it over my nose. Large black straps encircle my head assuring it stays in place. Now from the center of my face I have a big clear tube, like an elephant trunk, pumping air into me. Doesn't that sound like fun? The most annoying issue is getting it to seal properly on my face so I don't have air leaking out from it creating a loud hissssssssss. The more I use it the quicker and easier I find the right fit.

Sometimes it feels like falling asleep takes forever. I become very aware of every breath I take while it's on. But once I fall asleep it's good. It's all so good.

I'm only surprised I don't have dreams of snorkeling. With that gizmo on my face I should really be enjoying some awesome underwater adventures.

Cardinals

Vibrant red splotches of color darting and diving among the naked branches of my hickory tree. Intermixed with less colorful, equally beautiful soft brown females. The entire dance is hypnotic and delightful!

When Things are Tough

I procrastinate.

I procrastinate just to be lazy most of the time, but when I am up against something I just don't want to deal with I find something, anything else to do. I am blogging right now for that very reason.

Alyssa and I are taking down Christmas today. That's not so hard, but while Alyssa is packing up decorations I am trying to make room in the guest room aka Harriett's room, for some items I want stored in the closet. However, the closet is still full of Harriett's clothes.

Did I say I am a procrastinator?

So today I am packing up Harriett's clothes. Not so hard in and of itself. Fold it up and place in a bag. And I was doing really well at that until I got to the things she wore most in the last months, such as the plush red robe I gave her last Christmas. It's very warm and she was always very cold and she'd wrap it tight around her skinny little body to walk through the house to her chair. I can see her so clearly in that robe. That's what is hard. Not everything can or will evoke a memory like that, but when they hit it's like being smacked up-aside the head. .

I think of Harriett as our Pink Angel now. I don't know if she'd like that so much, but I assigned her pink for the breast cancer cause. If not today then this week end she will be doing some angel works. My plans are to take her clothes to a homeless shelter. It is so easy to drop them off at Goodwill or any 2nd hand shop, but I want these clothes to go straight to the people that need them the most. She has a lot of warm coats and hoodies and I know there are folks in desperate need of these right now. And they are in all sizes since she lost so much weight during her illness. She will be blessing a lot of people this week end.

Harriett, you know I talk to you and I know you hear me because I hear you whisper back. I love you girl friend. Be in peace.

HANDBOOK 2010

This list of "directives" for 2010 was sent to me by my friend Margo. There is a lot of wisdom in these 40 little tidbits of advice. Enjoy.

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
    
    Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
    
    Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
    
    Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
    
    Last but not the least:
40. Please share this to everyone you care about, I just did.

Grandma's Balls*

Having and elderly not-entirely-there parent is a bit like having a pre-schooler, with the exception that the diapers are bigger and there is little hope they'll ever (re)learn the lessons of life.

While visiting Mom one day before Christmas I noticed she had an odd little bulge in her sweater by her waist. I asked what it was and without waiting proceeded to investigate. She was sincerely surprised when I pulled out a large white paper carnation with green St. Paddy day decorations attached. It was someones prized corsage, I am sure and Grandma Lifted It!!

O Good Lord, my mother is a Klepto!!

But wait. It gets better.

While investigating the bulge I had noticed a bit of red ribbon peaking over the top of her waist band. Was it something that became caught in her pants when the staff had assisted her in the bathroom? I better do some more sleuthing...

So I went back in, under the sweater to the top of the pants and located that piece of ribbon that had caught my attention. And then I began to pull.

It came out a little, but was a bit stuck. So I tugged.

It began to emerge, not just a little piece of ribbon as I had thought but a whole long strand!

Mom could feel the tugging of course, and asked, "What's that?"

I began to laugh as a long string of ribbon with jingled bells attached emerged from her pants. I held it up for her to see and she simply looked at me in wonder and said....

"Where did that come from?"

OMGosh, Mom, if you don't know what you have stashed in your pants, I don't think I can tell you...

*Okay, I admit it, I am an attention whore. The title should have been Grandma's Bells but I just liked the sound of balls so much better. So shoot me.

Thought for the Day - 4 Jan 2010

One thing absolutely essential to live my life, a sense of humor!

Avatar in 3D

Just a quick little note tonight.

I took the hubby to see Avatar in 3D this afternoon. What fun!!

He thoroughly enjoyed it. The effects were incredible and the landscape of this alien world was simply brilliant.

Needless to say, I got in a little jab with, "I have to say, if you enjoyed watching this, perhaps you can understand a little now why people love WoW so much."

Hehehe... never miss an opportunity. That's my mantra!

I Didn't Think it Would be so Hard

Silly me.

I've been avoiding this for the longest time, but I chalked it up to my usual procrastination. Then to the busyness of the holidays. But today I started. Just a little bit, but enough to make me realize how hard it really is going to be.

I started going through Harriett's belongings.

Let me set the scene a little. In the last months of her life Harriett moved into the "spare" bedroom on the main floor of our home. It was originally to be Mom's room so a lot of Mom's stuff was already in there. And it was the room that held the cookbook shelf, the candles & candle holders, vases, tablecloths, etc. You get the picture. Since her death the wheel chair and disability equipment has been put in there. Krissy's dresser when she got a new one. Holiday items we were uncertain of using this year. And under it all, Harriett's things from her final days.

The room itself simply needed to be organized and recovered from being a catch all. Then I got to Harriett's belongings and knew it would be a good idea to keep on. One of the first things I picked up was her wig.

Wigs sort of creep me out anyway. Like the trophy of a scalping. But along with the wig were a half dozen or more knit hats that Harriett preferred to wear. It's hard to handle those things and not think of her and miss her. It's hard to even write about it.

I didn't really expect it to be so hard.

Tidbits from an Aging Brain

If you are one of the "lucky" ones who used to follow my blogs on MySpace you may recall that I tend to blog in spurts. It appears that my long absence from blogging has acted as a dam that has suddenly burst and here I am with way too much drivel to share rushing down river.

Irony:
In October I was inspired to purchase a flat screen monitor for my husband's Christmas present - and ecstatic that I had done that shopping so far in advance. The beginning of December our PC bit the dust.

Another "If we can put a man on the moon" question:
...then why can't we make a pair of jeans for fat ladies that doesn't wear out in the thighs?

Hypnotic power of TV:
I can go through our dozens and dozens of DVDs and not find a thing I want to watch but if one of those same movies pops up on TV I will sit and watch it from beginning to end commercials and all.

I think that's enough stress for my old noodle on this first day of 2010.

2010 Has Arrived and Along With it....

Resolutions!

Of course.

Some people prefer to call them goals. Aspirations. The new year check list.

I'll stick with resolutions. A resolution means a commitment and I need commitment in my life. Structure.

1. Healthy Eating. I could go with the old "lose weight" resolution but I am more interested in being healthy than skinny. And eating healthy should promote weight loss whereas, losing weight doesn't necessarily equate to good health if I were to focus on weight loss only.

2. Exercise More. Or exercise at all, really. I think I'll start with walking and work up from there.
3. Learn Something New. I would really like to go back to school, but if I can't do that I'll at least commit to taking some classes.

4. Pay It Forward. Although I am overweight and understamina'd I have so very much to be grateful for. With so many blessings in my life it is only right to pay it forward with charitable acts and kindnesses.

5. Celebrate Life. Remember those I love and care for by showing it more.

I think five is enough. Please share your resolutions, goals, aspirations or whatever you choose to call the priorities you set for the new year.