I've had bits and pieces of a "new year's" blog floating through my head for several days now. But now that I find time to sit at the keyboard my mind goes blank. I have lost all the profound thoughts I that were inspiring me just a little while ago.
Tomorrow is new years day, the first day of 2009. In reality it is the day after Wednesday, the day before Friday. There is no magic that happens tomorrow that will make the next 12 months any better or any worse than the past 12 months. If there is any change for better or worse, that is up to me. It's my attitude and mindset that will determine what the next 12 months hold for me.
A couple of days ago my daughter and I were shopping at a book store and I looked at a book by Masaru Emoto called "The Miracle of Water." I'm not sure if Mr. Emoto is a quack or not, but his research did offer some interesting things to ponder. He photographs water crystals that have been exposed to words and he believes the meanings of the words cause a resonance that is evident in the water crystals. Positive words create beautiful crystals and negative words create crystals that are misshaped, irregular and deformed.
I have no idea if his research is valid, but I do believe that what we think has a bigger influence on our lives than anything outside of ourselves. We can blame others for our troubles or others can blame us, but I believe that each and every one of us can only be responsible for our own self. I may have done something that 'hurt' someone else, or I may have done something that made someone else very happy. Either way, I am taking way too much responsibility or credit for the other person, as it is entirely up to that person to choose to be hurt or happy. And like Mr. Emoto's water, when I expose myself to happy thoughts and actions, I actually feel happy. It is a choice I try to make every day, despite the circumstances I wake up to each day. I believe the sun is out whenever I say it is, whether it's overcast or nighttime, I make the choice to let the sun shine in my life. Likewise, I am sure there are those who have only cloudy days no matter how hard the sun shines.
Tomorrow I'll turn the page on my calendar to 2009. It'll be another day watching my friend slowly die. It'll be a day I answer my mother's questions over and over again and regret that I can't take her home. It'll be another day I don't have a job and one day closer to my daughter returning to school. My body will be one day older and less forgiving of my negligence. I will decide it's a good day. I am in control of nothing except my attitude.
Don't misunderstand me. I have bad days. I cry. I scream. I have tantrums. But they don't do me any good. Nothing changes except I feel worse. So I try to make every day the best day I can. It's my choice and the only thing I truly have control over.
Have a wonderful new year. Make it a happy one!