Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Putting the Sweet Life [back] on Hold

Although I am not Catholic I gave up sweets for Lent. Or at least my concept of what Lent is. I heard more rules about Lent and when things counted and when they didn't and when it ended than I can remember. So I just stuck with what I thought Lent was. No partaking in whatever I gave up from Ash Wednesday through Easter morning. I gave up sweets and it was good!

So Easter morning came and I was delighted to find a coffee cup full of Cadbury Mini Eggs. Have I ever mentioned how-much-I-LOVE Cadbury Mini Eggs? Well, I do. And I made sure I mentioned it to the Easter Bunny because I was tortured by the sight of those eggs on store shelves for a month or more. I wanted to break my sweet fast with those pretty little tasty little eggs.

And I did.

Over and over again. I am popping those yummy chocklity eggs in my mouth as I type. MmmMmmMMMM!!

And I had the chocolate cherry cheesecake I froze after passing it by on Mark's birthday. And the fruity cheesy brownies Krissy made for her foodies club. And the scone I froze from Starbucks when I realized it was more sweet than I had anticipated. Oh yes, I have been working hard to make up for all those days I went without sweets.

I felt so good on those days. I felt strong. I felt like I was treating myself well.

How do I feel now? I feel like an alcoholic. I feel out of control. I feel like I can't just have a little, I need to eat it all. I need to. It makes no sense, but there it is. I didn't just step down of the wagon, I fell off it hard. And you know what? None of it was as good as I anticipated.

Tomorrow is Wednesday and for me it's Ash Wednesday again. Tomorrow I am giving up sweets. I'll go another six weeks and designate another "Easter" Sunday that will mark the end of my sweet free Lent.

It feels so good to say that, to plan it. It feels like a relief. I have to admit I felt some nervousness coming to Easter Sunday and realizing it meant permission to eat sweets again. I know I am supposed to be in control of my life, which includes what I eat, but I felt like as Easter approached I was giving up that control. Almost like it was out of my hands. Tomorrow, I take it back again. It got so easy to say NO to sweets. I can't wait to start again!

And this time I am not freezing anything. No means no.