Grandma's Balls*

Having and elderly not-entirely-there parent is a bit like having a pre-schooler, with the exception that the diapers are bigger and there is little hope they'll ever (re)learn the lessons of life.

While visiting Mom one day before Christmas I noticed she had an odd little bulge in her sweater by her waist. I asked what it was and without waiting proceeded to investigate. She was sincerely surprised when I pulled out a large white paper carnation with green St. Paddy day decorations attached. It was someones prized corsage, I am sure and Grandma Lifted It!!

O Good Lord, my mother is a Klepto!!

But wait. It gets better.

While investigating the bulge I had noticed a bit of red ribbon peaking over the top of her waist band. Was it something that became caught in her pants when the staff had assisted her in the bathroom? I better do some more sleuthing...

So I went back in, under the sweater to the top of the pants and located that piece of ribbon that had caught my attention. And then I began to pull.

It came out a little, but was a bit stuck. So I tugged.

It began to emerge, not just a little piece of ribbon as I had thought but a whole long strand!

Mom could feel the tugging of course, and asked, "What's that?"

I began to laugh as a long string of ribbon with jingled bells attached emerged from her pants. I held it up for her to see and she simply looked at me in wonder and said....

"Where did that come from?"

OMGosh, Mom, if you don't know what you have stashed in your pants, I don't think I can tell you...

*Okay, I admit it, I am an attention whore. The title should have been Grandma's Bells but I just liked the sound of balls so much better. So shoot me.